Just when I thought I had things kind of figured out....
I took that leap and I bet on myself! I am a full-time entrepreneur! All is well, but GOODNESS...it was a process to get here...
I knew this year was a year of transition. I could feel it in my bones. I just didn’t know how or when this transition was supposed to take place. As sure and as comfortable as I was not too long ago, things changed and I suddenly felt uneasy and unsettled. I've experienced this before. I knew that this meant I was entering in to a season of change. With me being able to identify this feeling, I didn't freak out right away...that came a little later, lol.
I can’t even begin to tell you the amount of anxiety I felt leading up to this decision. I went back and forth, the internal struggle was real. I knew that some things needed to remain constant and that all centered around my children. I didn’t want to rock their boat of security. I was so scared that me pursuing my business full time would cause them to have to go without. It didn’t cross my mind until quite some time that maybe this would be something quite amazing for them to see and experience. It has always been important for me to show them that while they are boys, who will eventually grow into young men, they needed to know how strong, resilient and badass women are…especially their mom :) Also, it’s important to us to shown them there are more ways than the traditional route to bring in income. You don’t have to go down the same path as everyone else, create your own. I had to remind myself that the boys were going to be okay! We’ve put in the work of making sure they knew they were safe, secure and loved. What I had to remember, everything we have done up to this point was in preparation for this moment. We had a plan and stuck with it. Doing that allowed me to finally say, “It’s time!”
I wouldn’t be telling the entire story if I didn’t include my personal journey and the hesitation I had with my big decision to move to being a full-time entrepreneur. I struggled so hard. It took such an emotional toll on me. I couldn’t sleep and I started having mini panic attacks. I was venturing into unknown territory. You know what was funny in all this as I look back on that time… I can laugh about it now… I kept praying for signs that what I was doing was the right thing. “Lord, please show me the path you have for me. Guide me. Allow me to see because I don’t like this feeling of the unknown and I want to make sure I am walking according to what you have planned for me…” I must have prayed some version of this several times and each time, I would have a “random” conversation with someone about taking that leap and betting on myself, a new inquiry would come in or someone would pay a deposit!!! So, call it what you will, but I was getting signs all over the place, lol. It got to the point where my husband asked when will I be okay with what I was being shown? Will it be when “unicorns are jumping over double rainbows, visible for everyone to see…?” He got major side-eye from that comment, but he was right. When would I be okay because I was receiving exactly what I was asking for… Soon after, I realized that I needed to make a move. At a certain point, I needed to stop talking and put some action behind my words.
Right now, being more in control of my time, working on my dream and being present for my family and myself, I couldn’t ask for anything more. I completely understand that this is a continuous roller-coaster of emotions and that’s okay. I have the proper tools to handle the ride and I’m ready!
Alright, now that you are caught up on the latest and greatest with me, don’t be a stranger. Stop by the pop-ups, tell all your friends and family about us, follow along on social media! Also, if Esscents of Flowers has provided a service for you in the past, please use this link to submit a review on Yelp :) Thank you in advance!
Love and peace,
Ariana Marbley, Esscents of Flowers